Girl, you betta WORK…shop

This is another post that falls into the category of classwork, and I’m afraid it will be a little rushed as I’ve got about twenty minutes to post it before I have to drive my sister and the grumpy, phlegmmy baby to the doctor… Poor Squidge…

Almost nothing takes precedence over school. This is one of those things.

SO, let me start out by pointing you in the direction of two posts I’d like you to look at:

The first is the overwhelming favorite, because it involves a Possum living under the toilet

And the second one is my least favorite, because in spite of an attempt at clever brevity, it’s basically one giant nerd joke.

 

Now, I chose the first one because it’s an entry that my sister and a few of my close friends bothered me to write from day one of them knowing I had this blog. I had the pictured drawn up weeks before I posted, and everyone and their dog liked the post, long as it was.

The second one I chose after having been in class for a while and examining other people’s blogs, both in and out of class, and the entry was essentially based on what I thought people wanted to see. I hate it, because even though it’s got a great gag and Revenge of the Nerds, there’s so little real substance to it that I almost want to just get rid of it. It’s kind of an insult to my writing voice.

Now, because I realize that blogs can very easily turn into an exercise in narcissism, I want your feedback about both entries: The good, the bad, the ugly. Format, content, and your reactions as readers to what I’m dishing up.

That having been said, I’ve gotta bounce. I look forward to seeing what everyone else posts, and I’ll see you all in class on Wednesday.

We are NOT amused.

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6 thoughts on “Girl, you betta WORK…shop

  1. Hi Cerridwen! Thanks for posting this, and I hope you get some feedback. Our workshop was on Monday, in small groups in class. Tomorrow is our visit with Molly Wizenberg, with a response to her work due.
    I’ll also take a look at those posts and give you some feedback. Thanks!
    Brenda

  2. Hi again. Just saw that you posted this during our workshop day, so thank you again!
    I think the reason “toilet possum” post was so popular is not just because of the toilet possum himself, but because this post gives us SO much information about the family. And it’s ACTIVE description: we see everyone in action or in interaction with each other and with the narrator. So we really feel as though we’re reading a story, not someone’s self-centered ramblings.

    And this story has universal elements: how families do (or do not) pull together when the going gets rough. You might work on formatting the longer posts a little more to give them a “shape” perhaps using section breaks, or lists, or something along that line.

    The second post is, of course, less substantial, but I think it’s okay to have a variety of posts, some that give us an interlude. This one still has your voice, and it’s funny because of the nerdy serial comma joke (I, personally, can’t get enough of those.) This reflects who you are, but in a more light-hearted way.

    As I mentioned to you before, I find this new format harder to read–the light type and size, but I’m not sure if others have a problem with this?

    I love the photo with this post, and it’s a great way to end, with the child in the picture.

  3. Finch says:

    I also love the toilet possum post. What’s not to love about toilet possums?
    I agree that the second post is really different from your other posts. I really enjoy how you tell stories, and I felt like this post lacked that element. Which, as Brenda said, is fine for a blog. You can’t always produce golden posts 🙂
    But in general, I really enjoy your blog. Your voice is so strong, and you always tell just enough of a story. You don’t overdo it, at all. Your stories are also really engaging and I feel like I could read them for ages.

    I think that this layout is pretty, but I would agree with the text being a little too hard to read (mostly a size/color thing, really).

    I also get a little confused with the nicknames of your godchildren. Mostly because I’m a derp and it takes a lot of explaining (or reminding) for me to understand who is who. Maybe you should make an “about” page that talks about your family/recurring characters on the blog. I think it would make it something much easier to access for new readers than having to look through old posts to figure out who is who.

  4. That is a great idea; I will create a character roster! Also, I’ve been squinting at these comments for the last five minutes and I do believe that is a sign I need to find some more readable type…
    Thank you both for your feedback! I will keep it at the forefront of my thoughts when I consider this week’s post!

  5. I meant to write some really meaningful feedback… but mostly I agree with what they said ^^

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